| chibi | esca | kara | graciee | linna | maki | nahmool | pokey | reggi | videl |
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Thursday, February 7, 2002 Now...before I write anything on this, you're probably wondering, WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING UP AT 6 IN THE MORNING??? And I can answer the question quit easily... It's none of your business. Okay okay...I was just kidding. Fulawar was a moron, and goofed off till like 2. When she knew quiet well that she had a class at 8. But instead of going to bed at 2, she goofed off some more. And soon it was pass 3. And lazy ass fulawar knew she wouldn't be able to wake up so...she sayed up the whole night. Smart...no? Like I said...I'm a moron. From the way I'm about to drop right now, I have a feeling I just might sleep and end up ditching all my classes. Great...I screwed up my internal clock for no reason. --;;; Okay...not that we have established that fulawar is a moron, now let me think why I was blogging. Okay...bash on self check...Oh yeah. The olympic torch came through town. Wow...now you know it's in utah to have the torch come through this tiny ass place. Feels weird to know that it's gonna happen soon. Not like I'm gonna go to it. But they made this big show of the whole torch thing. I got up earily that day. Not cause of that, but because I had class. I even had to force myself up, and I go to class to find out I'm the only one who came. So the teacher ended up canceling the class. I got up for nothing. So thinking, hey this is like once in a lifetime chance of this happening...so I went to see the torch. Couldn't see anything really. And it was odd to see fireworks at 8 in the morning. But...I guess it was worth going to at 8 in the morning...in the freezing cold I might add to see. Thinking about it...maybe not... *sneezes* What's with guys and gambling. Well not like going to the casino and stuff...but like you know...betting with each other. These two guys were in front of the game machine, seeing who will win. Of course it didn't matter to me...cause not like I'm losing anything. But guys and there egos. One guy lost and he just had to play it again. *shakes head* The highlight of the moment was when one of the guys, he wasn't playing, got himself a drink. When he pulled back the tab to open up the can and boom. That freaken can exploded, there was coke on everything. It was so funny. I was cracking up. Only cause it wasn't my room. If it was my room...everyone would have died. But since it wasn't...hehehe... You should of seen what the can looked like, it was all crushed, and inside was all frozen, which explained why it exploded in the first place. I get such pleasuire from such simple things. That's a good thing...right? Or am I wrong?
I'm tried...and want to go to bed. I don't know if I can hold out for an hour and a half. Then another hour and a half of class. I'll never make it. I'm going to bed. Well...there goes me staying up for nothing. *hides self over the head*
| | top | | Monday, February 4, 2002 I hate being sick. I bet I'll never get over this cold. I guess it doesn't help for the fact that I didn't start taking medicine till like two weeks after I got sick. And the pills I bought are like horse pills I swear. They are so freaken big. I can actually feel the thing going down...or more like getting stuck. I think I need to get another kind of medicine. This would be my thrid time now. Why do they have to made medicine so...so...yuck. *sigh*
I don't get it...I know I have things to actually blog, but I just can't blog it. Did that even make sense? I'm really out of it right now. Maybe that's why? The drugs are taking effect. I'm gonna be snoring away in about thirty minutes I bet you. Okay...since I know myself, I'll change that to an hour. I'll be dropped dead, dreaming away in my own little fantasy world, were I have boy slaves all around me, and what there are doing is something for me to know and you to...well...I don't think you'd want to find out. hehe...well...when I'm not all doped up on medicine...I'll write something..I mean I'll get someone to write something fasinating...
| | top | | Friday, February 1, 2002 Today's boring. Let me just start off by saying that. Been slacking way too much lately. I don't know why. I know I have to go to class. I know I have to do good. But it seems that my brain seems to stop funtioning. It was like so easy to miss one class. Then I started to miss another then another. What the hell is wrong with me. I even missed a class today to do my homework, but what did I end up doing? I just sat in front of the computer, playing around. *hits self in head* Oh well...I couldn't figure it out anyways. Stupid visual basic 6 class. I would drop the fricken course if I could, but I can't so...arg... *sigh* So I guess my best chance of doing well, is actually going to class. So check that...go to class if you don't understand material. got it. I probably will forget by tomorrow anyways.
Some weird guy came up to me today, and just started conversation. I didn't know what to think of it. From the questions, it seemed he is in my class. *shrugs* Just came by while I was going to the dorms, and started talking. I turned to find out he was talking to me. So to be nice, I just answered and so on. Kind of was weird when he asked me where I was going and everything. If wouldn't of been so strange if I actually knew the guys name. Which I'd like to say I still don't know. Guess the guy wasn't so bad though. I don't know. I realized I don't know much of anything. Sad isn't it? Yeah I know. Now I'm gonna take my sorry ass out of here and go do some homework. I must be psycho...I'm talking about doing homework on a friday. *drops head*
| | top | | Thursday, January 31, 2002
 | | top | | Monday, January 28, 2002 Freaky ass weather. Damn...all sunny yesterday and it's like a blizzard today. What's up with that? I guess it's stay in room...and sleep day or something. Sounds so nice. Sleep...such a nice word. I need to do more of that. *sigh* I've been slacking way to much lately. even started to ditch classes cause I just didn't want to go. I can't do this...I need to do well this semester. *crosses fingers* The days are going by fast...but when your actually going through it...it feels like it's going way slow. Like I always feel bored...but then..like in a week...I'm all, where did the time go? I'm just weird...aren't I?
Pokey...it's okay. You don't have to make me a layout. You seem busy...in a way...so it's fine. I was really just kidding. I was just too lazy to make one. I don't think I wanna change it anymore. I don't care. What's the point of changing it anyways. It's only something to decorate the page while people look through the bull shit people write on these things. Besides...I think andy looks good on it. hehe... but you guys probably are getting sick of it...right? Well...when I have the time...I guess I'll just whip up something.
| | top | | Saturday, January 26, 2002
Today feels so weird. As if I'm not really awake, as if I'm still dreaming. Guess I sleep too much today...right? Maybe that's why it feels like I'm losing it. Or maybe I already lost it and I just don't realize it yet. Well anyways...I just feel down for no reason. Guess it's time for my monthly cry. Need to let it all out or something. I just wish I could figure out what the hell is going on. And I wish my fucken hand will listen to me and stop shaking so much. Damn, I can barely type. Shit...I can't even remember what I wanted to blog about. Stupid headache. I think I'm gonna stop blogging. I know...I barely wrote anything. But think of it this way. At least I wrote something...right? Well then...
| | top | | Monday, January 21, 2002
Which drink are you? | | top | | Thursday, January 17, 2002 I am beat. I've only been to school a couple weeks, and I'm ready to drop. I'm so not use to all this thinking. hehe... At least I'm going to class and doing my homework...right? That is a good thing isn't it? Well...I was told it was a good thing. I'm in my computer programing right now. This class in my opinion is my hardest. I still don't know what to do to close the program that I'm suppose to make. I hate this. This sucks. Somone wanna do this for me instead? I'd forever be grateful...*pleading look* I've deciding to go home on friday. Can't believe I'm going home already. But I realized I forgot something really important at home...MY WINTER COAT! You have no idea how much I have been freezing my ass off. Out of all the things to forget...right? *sigh*
I went to see a movie last night. Have no idea how long its been since I went to see a movie...and a movie theater. Went with a couple friends. And some other people I don't know. These two guys were all talking about getting some action and everything. Damn...all guys are alike. Okay...maybe that is stereotyping. How about this...most guys? Those guys didn't get any though...okay anyways... I watched ocean's eleven. Pretty good movie. Lots of guys in nice sleek suits. Real nice. Well I liked it anyways...but I do have strang taste...so...
| | top | | Tuesday, January 15, 2002 Am bored...took a quiz I saw at linna's blog.
# 1 Eels - Electro-Shock Blues | | top | | Friday, January 11, 2002
AHHHH!!! Pokey...Have I ever told you how much I love you lately? *watches as pokey backs away* hehe...Shinhwa so so cute and dorky...of course. hehe...ahhhh *jumps around going crazy* I got the vcd today. I almost ditched class to watch it, but decided not to. It haven't even been a week yet, can't started ditching already. right? Well...my compy is being a screwed up right now. I swear it hates me. So I'm down here in the lab to watch it. *sqeals* They look oh so yummy...*sigh* AHHHHH... POKEY JJANG!!!
| | top | | Wednesday, January 9, 2002 I didn't really do anything today. I don't really have anything to say either. Then why the hell am I blogging? You got me there. Well...this is my blog and I can blog any sort of bs anytime I want. So there. I really shouldn't be blogging. I should be in my room, turning bright red from reading my book. That reminds me...I have math hw to do also. Damn. Hate getting up at 7 only to go to math at 8. I can do this. I can do it. I will pass. And if I dont? Then...oh well. I guess you guys won't be seeing me anymore...because my parents would of killed me.
Well on to new subject. Jekki really did have the concert for fans thing. Damn. I hate leaving here when fun stuff like that happen in korea. Man I miss dukkie so much. I wanna see them all on stage singing and dancing and being all cute again. They had the concert on my brither day too. hehe... Jan. 5. Yupyup. Now that would of been a nice bday present. Anybody wanna kidnap jekki for me? Even just dukkie will do? Actually...I shouldn't be asking you guys to do something that can get you locked up, should i? Okay then...cross that out. The concert actually only had half the group anyways. Only suwon jaeduk and sunghoon. And the cutest thing was that it looked like suwon and jaeduk had the same kind of sweater on. It was so cute. It must be a couple thing. hehe...makes mealmost wanna write a dukshun fic now. Well like I said...almost.
| | top | | Monday, January 7, 2002 First post for the year 2002. So I'm a bit late. My bad... Hey...atleast I'm blogging. Even if it did take me forever. So...let see. What happened. Well...I'm at school. Need to buy stupid external disk drive for the compy cause it doesn't have one. Then I can get internet in my room. *sigh* There goes some more of my money. I also bought books today. 3 books for 200 bucks. damn. I swear to you...the school is ripping us off. It's making me broke...I need a job. *sigh*
I'd like to say I have turned 20. Can you believe it. 20 years old. I'm old. Look at the gray hairs popping out. I can see the wrinkles already. It feels weird. When I turned 19...it didn't seem like such a big deal...but 20. I feel old. It's only 1 year difference, but it feels like 10. I don't wanna be ancient. *wah* I can't believe in one day, I aged so much. Maybe I'm just losing it. But I feel old...
| | top | | Saturday, December 29, 2001
 Strawberry: 0/100 Pear: 40/100 Banana: 80/100 Tomato: 10/100 Lemon: 20/100 Take the What Fruit Are You? test by  webkin and aaronr!| | top | | Tuesday, December 25, 2001
| | top | | Monday, December 24, 2001
I feel out of place. The time is closing in on christmas, and I still can't get in the mood. I feel like it's june...alright...a very very cold june. But, I just don't feel like it's actually christmas eve. I don't have that merry spirit. I've been listening to a lot of christmas music, thinking it would help, but it just feels like when I got smtown 2 in the middle of spring. Not really the time to be listening to it, but you still are kind of thing. I don't know. Maybe cause it's not snowing, or maybe cause no one else is here. Besides my parents anyways. Or maybe cause I'm just a grumpy old hag, who wants to impersonate the grinch and forget all about this wonderful day, that comes around only once a year. *shows horns* arg...
| | top | | Wednesday, December 19, 2001
A simple guide to life. | | top | | Wednesday, December 19, 2001 After like a year and a half, 1tym finally came back with a new ablum. Damn, what is it with yg and taking forever to come out with cds? The mv for there title song is so funny, but where's danny and teddy? I only saw jinhwan and baekkyung. hmmm...*shrugs* In my opinion, the ablum was okay. I still think there 1st ablum was the best. You have to listen to the last track on the cd though. The song has the melody for ghostbusters. Like that's not funny enough, in the back of the track, they have a small talking part. Baekkyung I'm guessing has a show, and has jinhwan come on it. And jinhwan keeps saying he's ohjilarl. *drops head* He even sings a song with that word all over it. He sounds so stupid...which I guess gives it character.
I was searching the web, and came upon this fic I read so long ago. It was like the first fic I ever read, and might I add that it was a gfic. I never thought I'd ever be able to find it again, since the site I read it from closed down. It was weird seeing it again. Made me think back to the beginning. When I first got into all this kpop madness. When I would surf through the internet to see if I can find anything on my favorite singer. See endless pictures, wondering how they can be so cute, while imagining what it would be like to meet them. But now, I feel I'm slowly turing my back on the whole rave, even without my knowlegde.
| | top | | Thursday, December 13, 2001 Do you think shinhwa are virgins? Now did that get your attention? Well I read this question, and I just busted out laughing. If you think about it, would you honestly think that those guys would be virgins? Not saying they are honry 24/7. Just saying, they are guys, fairly aged, who have girls throwing themselves at them every chance they get. I'm sure they took up some of the offers. Well I'm not trying to make them sound like sex hungry wolfs or anything, but still...
I read this post at k.j.p.e. forum on signs he's great in bed. *drops head* I'm really into this whole sex thing aren't I? Well anyways...they had three of them.
Took some tests I found on pokey's blog. On the the emotional IQ test I got 113. Sad isn't it? I feel like I'm a cardboard cutout. But what confuses me is the meaning of it. (Based on your higher-than-average score, we can tell that you're usually aware of others' feelings and also pretty good at keeping a decent perspective on life. Balancing your emotional needs with everyone else's is tricky, and sometimes you can feel a little adrift on the big sea of feelings out there, but for the most part, you're doing okay.) It's higher then average? How emotionless are the other people that 113 would be higher then average? | | top | | Sunday, December 2, 2001
my mom decided it's about time I got off my lazy ass, and got myself ready for school. I guess I should. My brain is feeling empty. So...it's less computer and more reading. no more watching my videos...and work on math...(I suck at the subject). So...I guess if you don't see me...I'm probably going nuts. the new stuff are only going to end up pushing out the old stuff. Soon...I won't be able to tie my shoes.
| | top | | Saturday, December 1, 2001 I am cold dammit. Snowed all day. Guess the weather was saving it up, so they can just pour it all at once. Now it's foggy. Just great. At least I don't have to go out right now. Like I would be able to go out at this time. Honestly, I don't mind the snow, I just don't like the cold. Can't they just come to some kind of understanding?
Pokey told me to put up my chirstmas list. Don't know why...must be curious on what a pyscho would wasnt for chirstmas...I guess...well here it is...
I've decided it's time to go on a diet. Need to lose this fat around every inch of my body. arg...they just won't come off. Guess they like me too much to let go..huh? Well...lets see I long I can stay on a diet before I all together give up. I give myself 2 days.
| | top | | Wednesday, November 28, 2001 Saw shinhwa on this singing show. Like kareoke. The person you go against picks a number, and they have to sing a verse of the song that comes on. JunJin was all pouting cause they wouldn't let him sing. So he was in the back, poseing. Dongwan was the one that sang. They were going against babyvox. When it was babyvox's turn to sing, eric and junjin started catwalking. It was so funny. And one of the shinhwa members commented on them modeling and how it's been a couple months and they still can't get it out of there system. And eric and junjin started to hide. It was cute. But in the end, shinhwa lost. Oh well...
I started working on my site again. I never realized how much time ti passed. Just doing one thing. And now...I'm even thinking of making a new one. Just for the heck of it. I'll probably won't do it. What's the point if I'll never finish it. Right?
| | top | | Tuesday, November 27, 2001 Snow. It finally snowed here. Late isn't it? First snow of the year...no...the season? Think that's what they called it...but it only happened a couple days ago. Guess it just didn;t feel like coming down. It looks so beautiful sometimes. When the light flakes are coming down and landing gently on the earth floor and instandly melt away. I have to say that is one thing I like about this place. It snows. Well I like snow till I have go outside and the damn cold is freezing my butt off. It's nice to look at. Mostly all it is. This makes me wish I was a kid again. So I can go outside and make a snowman. Fall back on them and start making snow angels. Run around with my arms open, letting the snow land in my mouth. You don't really think of it that way then, but truely, those are the good old days. When nothing mattered. *sigh*
JaeJin has his very own cd out I would like to say. He only has one song on it he raps on and it's called double j. I like that song. When you listen to it, besides the rap parts, it doesn't sound like him. Like the singing part...totally different. So weird to see that voice come out of his mouth. Probably cause I don't expect it. But the rest of the songs...I keep expecting to hear the other jekki members. Like when he sings, he just gives me the feeling as if they should come out any minute...but they don't... I wonder why I even do that. I didn't do that to sunghoon or jiwon. Not even to kangta or heejun. It's just weird with jaejin. Maybe cause he took so long? Or I just didn't expect him to? Which I really don't think I was expecting. But he is out, and he is trying to return to the fading hearts of his fans, hoping that in the long distance they haven't somehow forgotten about him.
| | top | | Thursday, November 22, 2001 It's raining. The sound of the water falling has this eerie sense of clamness in it. I don't know whether I should be relaxed by it, or scared. A part of me seems to want to go outside and run around. Laughing while getting my clothes all wet. But then this other part of my wants to go to the corner of my room, throw the covers over my head and hide from the world.
My mom's been asking me if I'm sick lately. She says I look like a hospital patient. I didn't think anything was wrong. Maybe it was becuase I haven't been eating much lately. But I can't help it if I get a stomachache everytime I eat anything. This happened to me eariler this year too. I just don't get what my tummy has aganist me. For a whole week I couldn't eat almost anything without getting sick. I don't understand why it's happening again. Why can't I just crawl into my bed, turn on some music and sleep forever.
| | top | | Friday, November 16, 2001 I have a major problem with putting things back. I memtally made a schdule for myself to do today. It's 12:30am and I still haven't done a single thing I had planned to do. I really need to get my butt in gear and realize that time is not going to wait for me to do all the things I need. Time won't last forever. and I have to make the most of it. But still, I'm sitting here, blogging...instead of something productive. I guess this is just the kind of person I am. Am sadly, I probably won't be able to change it, becuase I'm too lazy to fix it.
I keep telling myself to write. I was even gonna start up on some of my old and I mean old fics. Just to get myself to do something. but in the end, all I ended up doing was like any other day...nothing. I sit on my butt, and watch myself get fat. Hopefully tomorrow will be a new day, and I can tell myself to do all the things I need to do, and end up not doing it and cursing myself out for being the lazy ass person I am.
| | top | | Wednesday, November 14, 2001 SSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is probably the 10th time I pricked myself with the needle. I don't think it likes me. *pouts* my poor finger...I need dukkie to come and kiss it better. *grin*
I started listening to my cds again. I popped in, shinhwa's top ablum. And you know how your computer finds, or tries to find out what ablum it is, and puts down the titles of the tracks for you? Well, my computer says that it's a cd called 100% sex. O_o? maybe my compies just really really demented. It's possessed everyone. RUN FOR YOUR LIFE...AHHHHHHHHH
| | top | | Sunday, November 11, 2001
I have less and less to say each time I blog. Eventually...I won't have anything and then I'll go poof and disappear...
| | top | | Friday, November 9, 2001 The days seem to be passing by so fast. Well...not technically...but...I don't know. I just don't think the days are long enough...or maybe I slack off so much of the time that I don't realize how truely long it is. Sometimes I can't truely comprehend that I'm 19 years old. When I become 18 or 17. Where did my highschool days go. It's going to be 2002 in a couple months? What am I missing? As if the whole world is spinning and leaving me behind.
I don't know why...but I played around and recorded myself singing. Why? Cause...I have no idea. It was fun at the time. And funny to listen to. I uploaded one. Like only 30 sec. long. So you won't have to suffer to long if you actually listen. The song I sang is T's as time goes by. A nice song...you should dl it if I haven't ruin the song for you already. | | top | | Wednesday, October 31, 2001 tada...a new layout. finally got my lazy ass to do something prodictive...wait...is this productive? anyways...what do you think? not too horrible...is it? Well...I like it. I was gonna do a sunghoon one, but I ended up doing andy instead. *shrugs* It works though...
The days are getting colder. I don't like cold. Well...I don't like hot either. Why can't it be right between those two. It rained today. It makes me depressed sometimes. A bit lonely...don't know why. Just the sound of the water falling, hitting against the window. Makes me feel as if I should be wrapped up in a blanket looking out the window. As if I'm expecting someone who's never gonna come. I don't know why...guess I'm just a big weirdo.
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